Sports Fans Get Organized and Want Recognition

Serious sports fans around the country know their sports inside and out. As dedicated fans they have acquired a knowledge base and experience level that surpasses many of the professionals in the game. Just ask them if you don’t believe it. Yet these sports fans rarely get the attention and recognition they deserve from the franchises they follow or from their respective leagues. One fan has decided to change all that.

Jim Stanenbaum has created the Fans Up to speed on Concepts, having Knowledge & Yearning for Owners to Understand them (FUCKYOU) Association. This group started in Jim’s garage, but has grown to encompass members across the United States, mostly also in their garages, but some in their dens and others in their Man Caves. They communicate mostly via email, but in the last few seasons, Twitter has been their modus operandi. “We’re really just trying to get the attention of ownership to show how much we can help them. Once they see we know more than most of their scouts, coaches and managers, they’ll certainly show us the respect we deserve and include us in important decisions,” says Jim.

Bob Newberry adds “During the ALCS last year, I tweeted that Girardi needed to take Sabathia out as his fastball looked flat and he couldn’t throw his breaking ball for strikes. Sure enough, two innings later Sabathia gave up a 3-run bomb to Josh Hamilton.” Bob’s cousin Ralph remembers that tweet and printed it to mail to Yankees GM Brian Cashman. “Bobby is like a Houdini or something with this stuff. He like knows stuff is going to happen.”

Jim says FUCKYOU members demonstrate their knowledge on a daily basis on Fantasy Leagues in every major sport. Each member also has a Sports Blog which they update daily with scores, highlights, and every stupid decision the coaching staff made that cost them the game. Todd Blunett wrote an expansive piece covering Brett Favre’s “retirement” this past off-season and totally predicted Favre would play. Sure enough, Todd was right. “After following Brett’s career since Southern Miss, I know what the man has for breakfast. ”

FUCKYOU is preparing a presentation they plan to take on the road as they try to get in to see owners of sports franchises across the country. “We’d like to get in to see the owners right away, but we realize we may have to get their attention first so we’ll start by tailgating and running our DVD and Powerpoint Presentation out of the back of Johnny’s F250 on Billy’s flat screen plasma TV. Joey’s got a couple of Honda Generators that will allow us to run the presentation even if we end up in Double Overtime.”

​”We think FUCKYOU can add real value before drafts, certainly before any Free Agent signings, and hiring and firing of coaching staffs. We’d like to work our way up to live Tweeting game strategy directly to the coaches, but we realize that’s probably a bit down the road,” says Jim. “But, we think having a vote in MVP, Rookie of the Year and especially Manager of the Year awards is  a must.”


Local 49 year old man takes Smack Talk to New Heights

A local man, Vince Osgood, who turned 49 on the Opening Day of the NCAA Football Season, has taken his Smack Talk to a new level for the 2010 season.

“I’ve always been a good fan, but this year I’ve really been in a Zone,” says Vince. “I’ve managed to find a fan of almost every team in the NCAA and talk some serious trash to them about how much their team sucks and what assholes they are for being fans.” When asked about possibly insulting or alienating these people Vince takes his Air Horn out of his back pocket and says “Bite me numb nuts, this is College Football baybee!” He then blasted the Air Horn in this reporter’s face and raised his index finger in the air while nodding his head vigorously.

Vince has also added Trash Talk about the Ranking systems used in College Football to determine Bowl Games. “Anyone can talk shit about a #1 getting knocked off or something basic like that,” says Vince as he hunches over his yellow note pad full of brackets and drawings of team mascots in various sexual positions. “What I’ve done is find the names of every writer, coach and computer programmer involved in the various polls as well as their mother’s and sister’s names and write a new piece in my blog about them every damn day!”

Vince, who has a Bachelor’s Degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management with a 2.6 GPA from the University of Kalamazoo has never played organized sports. His passion comes from a higher source; his Uncle Ralph. “Ralph was a major source of inspiration to me, may he rest in peace.” Ralph Franklin died of an apoplectic hemorrhage at age 56 while doing Cannonballs at a Fraternity brother’s house during the Fiesta Bowl. He was buried in his Wolverines jersey although he never graduated from college.

Vince is currently working on a Child’s Mobile for his sister Karen who is expecting her first child sometime around the Sugar Bowl. “I’ve got the mascot for every team in her team’s conference except hers,” he says with glee. “She’s gonna freakin go apeshit!”

​Vince, who is divorced and not currently dating anyone is also writing a book he plans to self publish as a PDF document. “I fix everything wrong with College Football in this book,” cries Vince. “Those money-grubbing assholes at NCAA are gonna know the name of Vince Osgood, I’ll tell you that much. Hey, are you a freakin Bulldog?! You better fuckin not be.”