I resolve

I resolve not to do these things in 2017:

  • Start listening to Kanye West music
  • Yoga
  • Heroin
  • Go to church
  • Join a commune
  • Pierce any part of my body
  • Read the Book of Mormon
  • Bungee jumping
  • Waxing
  • Join a tennis league
  • and under no circumstances will I participate in, or attend any event involving fireworks.

Happy New Year.

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