There’s Nothing Worse Than…

1. Driving in the left lane on the highway behind a Mercury Grand Marquis doing exactly the speed limit.
2. Having to urgently use the rest room while driving.
3. Walking to the car with your arms full of stuff and realizing you don’t have your car keys.
4. Taking a bite of your sandwich and the tomato splashes your shirt.
5. Going into a public restroom just in time to hear someone’s rather noisy bodily functions.
6. Talking and laughing and having a grand time with coworkers, then using the restroom and seeing your smile full of broccoli.
7. Someone walking up to you to say Hi and you can’t remember their name even if you were water boarded.
8. Getting back on the highway with your fast food only to find they screwed up your drive through order.
9. Putting on your shorts on the first warm day of the year, to find they don’t fit.
10. The sense of panic you get when you see those blue lights come on in your rear view mirror.
11. Dreaming you have to pee, then peeing a little bit in your bed.
12. Waiting to make a left turn, the light turns yellow, should you go?…now? Go?
13. Replying to everyone on an email by mistake.
14. Looking in one of those magnifying mirrors and seeing all the blackheads in your nose.
15. Taking off your shoes at the airport and seeing your big toe sticking out of the hole in your sock.
16. Burning the top of your mouth with hot pizza cheese.
17. Leaving a ballgame through a different gate and you can’t find your car.
18. Waking up to let the dog out and stepping barefoot in his poop.
19. Getting one of those chain emails that says something bad will happen if you don’t forward it.
20. Waking up hung over and wondering if you said anything stupid last night.


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