Gas Pumps Get Pushy

Probably the best innovation in gas pumpery is the credit or debit card pay-at-the-pump technology. No more walking up to the little booth or into the mini store and waiting in line. Zoom in, insert card here, fill ‘er up & zoom out.

It didn’t take long for owners to realize they had lost a source of revenue. No more sales of impulse items while you wait in line. “Slim Jim, Fuzzy Dice air freshener & $10 on pump 3 please.”

So let’s put these pumps to work.

Pump: “Would you like a car wash?”
Me: “What? No.”
Pump: “Will you need a receipt?”
Me: “I don’t care…no.”
Pump: “What’s your zip code?”
Me: “Oh for Pete’s sake, I’m running late here.”
Pump: “Do you have a Bi Lo Bonus Card?” (This actually happened to me this morning)
Me: “No, but I wish I did.”
Pump: “We are having a sale on 2 liter soda.”
Me: sigh
Pump: “Hungry? How about some coffee?”
Me; thinking: I am a little hungry…how long is the line in there? “Is the coffee fresh? Do you use Arabica beans?”
Pump: “Marlboro only $2.65, soft pack or box.”
Me: “I don’t smoke, thanks though.”
Pump: “Good for you. Go ahead and fill up then, and thanks for coming by. Don’t forget to check your oil and wiper blade condition. We offer Pennzoil products.”

So much for Zooming out. Ah the wheels of commerce must turn.

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